An Investigative Publication
 
 
 

Expert Findings Show Airline Safety on Decline

Shown above:  A commercial airliner makes an unscheduled landing in Iowa.
 

In Washington this week an expert panel met with Congress to discuss the mounting consern for the safety of our youth traveling by air during the holiday season.  According to an independent source, forty-seven college age adults were lost due to accidents portrayed in the illustrations.  For the panel the agenda was simple: why are these planes crashing, and what can we do about it?  On the first leg of the three day hearing, issues were discussed on funding for the study and how much wide sweeping reform would cost the tax-payers.  This was a topic destined to plague the rest of the conference.

During the third day of the proceedings, a Special Sub-committee for Airline Regulatory Action was formed and causes for loss of life were examined.  Several very interesting facts came to light on the almost criminal neglegence of the airlines and their pilots.  First of all, on a certain flight from St. Louis to Los Angeles before Christmas, it was found on the flight recorders that both the pilot and co-pilot were sharing some "Christmas Spirits" with the flight attendants in the cockpit, where they were being served warm egg nog, and the flight attendants reportedly asked the pilot for certain gifts in exchange for good behavior during the previous year.  After an hour of flight, the pilot became quite intoxicated and began "hotdogging", which includes dangerous manuvers of the aircraft, which ultimately resulted in the loss of the aircraft and all passengers.  (See below)

Other similar reports made to the committee outlined one simple fact:airlines cannot be trusted to protect the lives of today's traveling youth.  A full record of the proceedings can be found at http://www.ssara.gov