Headlines from 9/11

Daring French Architect Ushers in "Post-Post Modern" Era
 
US Foreign Policy Destroyed in Pentagon Fire
 
Red Cross Opens First Ever Emergency Smorgasboard
 
Justice Dept. Interviews Super-Magicians in Connection with WTC Disappearance

These stories were all written within 48 hours of the morning of 9/11.  They have been returned due to popular demand.  Their brevity and editing reflect the hurry to get them out.  The Onion took several days to respond.