World Trade Centers Disappear, Justice Department Asks for Them Back

Smoke clearing after an alleged illusion robbed
the New York skyline of it's most notable
buildings.

New York, NY-  An unexpected turn has been taken by the justice department in the search for the terrorists that destroyed the world famous World Trade Center on Tuesday, September 11, according to a source.  There have been several sealed warrants made for prominent citizens wanted for questioning as material witnesses.  Who are they?  The only people who could make such monoliths disappear- Primetime Magicians.

The evidence used to substantiate the request for warrants includes an impressive list of systematic training on the part of these magicians leading up to this final event.  Automobiles, trains, aircraft, bridges, and even the Statue of Liberty have been magically swept away by dazzling modern day wizards, all of which were under the skeptical eyes of reportedly unpaid members of the Screen Actors' Guild.

In this new line of investigation, one prime suspect has emerged above all others, the most daring of all of network television's sorcerers, David Copperfield.
"Look at his record," explains Agent Tom Willas of the FBI, "Clearly he has been planning this for almost 10 years now, ever since his rehearsal on Ellis Island.  I think in another couple days he may either ransom the some 5000 office workers to their families, or have the towers reappear in Las Vegas as part of his upcoming stage show at the Luxor."

Another investigator continues, "Yeah, and how else do you explain Claudia going for that dope, huh?"  He then mentioned that immolation at the stake is still on the list of allowed punishment for capitol crimes, not used since the late 18th century.

Another group considers the government complicit with the alleged sorcerer's absconding with the gigantic buildings.  Bill Whittier- of the People Against Consparitorial Broadcasting (PACB)- claims that there is no way that the Federal Government could no have known about the plot.  "I smell a great big rat, just the same as in '69 when those turkeys faked the moon landing, and in '45 when they made up the Holocaust," he claims, "Really, if you think if it that way, the government was about due for another one of these big snafus."

In a related report, a spokesman for the internet auction site revealed over the weekend that one user "DCmajick33" tried to put two 110 story office buildings up for auction, but was refused becuase he had too many negative comments from other users.  The site was unable to obtain more contact information for the patron, who's personal bio includes as address "Palacial estate on cloud".

"This is one tricky bastard, whoever he is," said a contact within the CIA, "but all those tons of dust and body parts can't just be conjured out of thin air, there has got to be a trail."

JF