FAQ
Q: Are steel and iron the same thing?
A: No. Steel is iron with up to a few percent by weight carbon in it (and possibly other stuff too). After that it becomes iron again, but with clumps of carbon in it. Iron with no carbon is called wrought iron. Iron with too much carbon to be called steel is grey iron, or cast iron.
Q: When do I refer to myself as “I”, and when as “me”? What about “myself”?
A: “I” is the nominative form of reference for the 1st person, and “me” is the accusative form. Thus, one would say “I am hungry” because it is a declarative statement about the subject, but one would say “It made me hungry” because the speaker is receiving the action. In referring to oneself and another, the same holds, such as with “The King and I” for nominative, or “The King and Me” in the accusative. When the subject and the object of the sentence both are the speaker, this is reflexive and “myself” is used instead of “me” such as in “I crack myself up.”
Q: If I don’t register to vote, I don’t have to go to jury duty, right?
A: No. At least in
Q: How do cat claws stay sharp?
A: Cat claws are made of a laminated structure, like a stack of post-it notes. By scratching off the outer ones when they become damaged the new inner ones are exposed. These are sharp by virtue of their geometry.
Q: Can I join Al Qaeda?
A: No. The US Government has passed a number of laws against aiding these “groups of folks”.
Q: Why did girls scream when they saw the Beatles?
A: According to a source (my mother-in-law) the Beatles simply made girls scream and cry and generally act hysterically, even when they were shown on the TV. I expect that it’s a combination of repressed early teenage feelings and LSD in the public water supply.
Q: What’s for dinner?
A: I don’t know. What do you want?
Q: Who let the dogs out?
A: This is a rhetorical question. The answer is in fact only a reply: “Woof, woof-woof.”
Q: Who’s your daddy?
A: Another rhetorical question. The correct response is either “You,” or “Shut up.”
Q: What is safety glass?
A: Safety glass, or tempered glass, is actually designed to fail catastrophically on impact. It does this so that you don’t get cut on large shards of it, since the glass breaks into tiny near-cubical pieces.
Q: Is the
A: It’s hard to make the case that the answer is “Yes,” as there is only prohibitions to government organized religion in the Constitution. It is also hard to answer “no,” due to the overwhelming majority of Americans subscribing to the Christian faith. However, a Christian electorate makes not a Christian country. Until a religion is established by the people (or competing religions are eliminated) the answer stands: “not really.”
Q: What’s that smell?
A: It’s Staley Inc., which manufactures corn syrup on the other side of town. This plant generates an odor which smells like a very old fart. In the summer it can get much worse.
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: Light coming from the sun passes through the atmosphere on the way down to us. Some of it hits the molecules in the air and scatters. This process is very sensitive to wavelength, so the shortest wavelengths are scattered and come down to us instead of continuing into space or simply going straight to our eye directly from the sun. This explains why the whole sky is uniformly blue, not different colors (in the day) far from the sun, as the scattering is random.
Q: Are we there yet?
A: For the last time, no.
Q: Do I have to believe in calculus for it to work?
A: No. While the proof that calculus works is quite complicated, take it from me that it works whether or not anyone wants it to.
Q: Isn’t science a faith?
A: No. Science is dedicated to the presupposition that one might be wrong, and so ideas must be tested, under many conditions and by many investigators. Evidence and data, along with argument, are used to overcome wrongness. Faith is the presupposition that one is correct.
Q: Are men allowed to like the Vagina Monologues?
A: I think that the answer is yes, particularly if claiming that you do proves profitable when trying to get a date.
Q: Who’s the man?
A: Currently Buzz Aldrin is The Man. Some notable past holders of this title are Ulysses Grant, Henry VIII, Pope Innocent III, and Alfred Nobel (posthumous). Do not confuse this title with The Man meaning the shadowy figure controlling the government. Right now that Man is “The Republicans”.
Q: Is burgundy red?
A: Apparently the answer is “of course not”. This answer is attributable to female sources. Women have been shown to perceive red colors more acutely than men, and so they are probably the only ones who are qualified to answer. Therefore the correct male response is “I dunno”.