An Investigative Publication
 

E-Bay Con Job Results in Hamburgulary of the First Degree

In a landmark criminal act, a popular internet site was used for felonious activity.  The site was E-Bay, a popular internet auction site, which has sustained much criticism in the last several months since a man tried to sell one of his own kidneys to the highest bidder.  Regulation of the goings-on of patrons of the site have remained woefully inadequate, and experts now are just now beginning to bring the site under detailed scrutiny.

Last Wednesday, a posting was made by one "Innocent J" for a ride share to St. Louis in exchange for the price of gas for the trip.  What resulted can only be called a violation of an unassuming youth.  Later that day, a bid was posted for the offer, by one "Hamburgular".  The Hamburgular asked for more information on how to contact J, and exchanged email addresses with him, according to the administrator's computer logs at E-Bay.  At some point, it appears that the Hamburgular and J came to an agreement, and communications appeared to cease.  Authorities believe now that the Hamburgular now was using the recieved information from the transaction to stalk J, preparing for some nefarious activities during the interstate trip.

On the afternoon of Saturday, it is believed that the two embarked on their trip from Indiana to St. Louis, and little is known about their whereabouts since that day.  One piece of evidence indicating foul play was a picture found at a popular highway restauraunt.  Shown below, the suspect Ronald Reagan McDonald, AKA "The Hamburgular", a known con-artist and suspected murderer in Mississippi (left), is working his underhanded and infectious charm on "J" (right)  which has not yet been identified, although it is known that his electronic mail address originated from Purdue University.  If you have any information on the whereabouts of either of these two people, please contact the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Criminal Clown Division http://ccd.fbi.gov or call 1-EVIL-CLOWNS.